Since I last posted I’ve just been getting used to lockdown life- then abruptly getting used to post lock down life. I’ve been teaching my class remotely and then abruptly adjusting to teaching them back in the classroom. I’ve been editing and proofreading my book and signing off on final edits! It’s all been very full on! So full on I’ve had no time to adjust to the fact that I have also turned 30, celebrated 3 years of marriage to my wonderful husband and I am pregnant!!
I am now 6 months pregnant with TWIN boys! The whole thing has taken me by surprise and it has just about sunk in. My body has had to adjust quicker than my mind, but it is slowly catching up and sinking in that I am going to have 3 boys under 3!! SEND HELP!! Anyone that knows me knows I would have loved a little girl but I can’t help but feel blessed with twin boys! Two wonderful playmates for my amazing little boy!
How have you found lockdown?
Lockdown was very difficult for me, I went through such a range of emotions – which I now know were heightened due to all the lovely pregnancy hormones. I found it difficult staying home for 10 day when I caught coronavirus, so to go straight in to lockdown following that was difficult as I just felt like I already hadn’t left the house in years. I quickly adjusted as you have to when you have a toddler and a class relying on you to comfort them and make them feel like it’s all going to be OK. I pretty much threw myself in to my job. I realise now that instead of actually giving myself the time that I need to adjust to all the changes I just worked and worked and worked which is dangerous and something that I am working on not doing anymore.
I had to remind myself that there is always tomorrow to get the planning and assessing done and I had to remind myself that "that email can wait". I also had to remind myself that the children that I teach have their own families and parents to support them and if I give all my time and energy to them I leave myself with nothing to offer myself, my own family and my own children. So, towards the end of lockdown I made a conscious effort to work my designated hours and no more, to not respond to messages out of work hours and to listen to my body.
How have you found adjusting to being back at work?
At first, I found it difficult as I suffer with anxiety and the idea of going back in to work – where I hadn’t been since contracting covid was daunting and triggered my anxiety. I was worried about being thrown back in to normal life and having to socialise while feeling unsafe. I found it difficult to trust the govt when they were telling us that schools were safe as they had said it before and backtracked and also because I still knew families, colleagues, children and parents who were contracting the virus.
I just did my best to sanitise and keep my distance. On top of all this I was struggling with SPD and my pelvis pains as it has tilted due to the weight of my babies so all in all I was in a lot of pain and was struggling mentally and physically. I immediately forgot the pep talk that I had given to myself about listening to my body and taking it easy. I immersed myself in to my job - working long hours and taking work home, being stressed and needing everything to be perfect. Until just before Easter my body gave up and I was advised to rest for a few days to give myself chance to recover. I definitely needed this as I was physically at breaking point. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the job I was unable to switch off mentally but my body definitely appreciated the physical break.
My priorities at the moment at looking after my body and ensuring that I don’t cause any permanent damage. Looking after my babies and trying to remove stress of all forms as I know this is dangerous for them. Spending as much quality time with my little boy as possible while he’s the only one for another few months and spending as much time with my husband as possible before Easter break ends and were both back at work full-time. I have lots of book ideas but I am taking a few months to just let them fester in my mind while I juggle motherhood, married life, being pregnant and working full- time.